12:00 PM PST (November 02, 2025) - N.S. EIC

In a stunning fusion of sports nationalism and immigration enforcement, ICE agents reportedly launched coordinated raids on undocumented celebrations following the Dodgers’ World Series win. The operation, internally dubbed “Seventh Inning Stretch,” allegedly used post-game fireworks as a tactical signal to descend on jubilant neighborhoods with suspicious levels of carne asada and civic pride.

Sources claim agents were equipped with bilingual bullhorns, Dodger-blue tactical gear, and drone-mounted confetti sensors to detect “unlicensed joy.” One official described the raids as “a patriotic cleanup effort,” citing the need to “restore order after excessive displays of multicultural enthusiasm.”

Witnesses say the timing was uncanny: raids began precisely as fans sang “We Are the Champions” in Spanish. ICE denies targeting celebrations, insisting they were “just following the smoke trails of freedom.”

NotSure News reached out to the Department of Homeland Security, who responded with a press release printed on a commemorative stadium napkin.