10:10 PM PST (August 15, 2025) - S.S. C

ANCHORAGE, ALASKA — Peace negotiations may have been the official agenda, but witnesses say the true highlight of today’s Trump–Putin summit came not in the conference room, but in the backyard.

After roughly 45 minutes of mutual flattery, the two leaders reportedly decided to “unwind like real men” with a spontaneous water fight behind the military base where talks were being held.

Despite the brisk Anchorage air, Trump emerged in golden cut-off shorts, a sartorial choice staffers insist he called “stronger than camo,” while Putin went shirtless, as always. The pair squared off armed only with a garden hose, each vowing to demonstrate superior toughness through aquatic horseplay.

“Neither one wanted to be the first to quit,” said one aide, who described the mood as “a mix of middle school locker room and low-budget reality TV.”

Onlookers say Trump squealed loudly as Putin unleashed a steady spray, while Trump countered with exaggerated bravado and promises of “the wettest, most tremendous comeback anyone’s ever seen.”

Though the episode left both men shivering, insiders claim the frosty blast only strengthened their bond. Sources close to the delegation even hinted that the leaders are already planning a follow-up summit in Moscow , complete with matching pajamas and what one described as “an epic pillow fight, the likes of which the world has never seen.”

When asked for comment, Kremlin officials would only confirm that “relations remain warm, if slightly damp.”

Our Eye On the Prize So Sure, NotSure News correspondent has infiltrated the White House Press Pool to deliver these breaking stories.