09:00 PM PST (August 16, 2025) - S.S. C

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what was initially hailed by allies as a rare moment of spine, newly released White House photographs depicting former President Donald Trump in what appeared to be an aggressive posture toward Russian President Vladimir Putin have been revealed to tell a very different story.

According to photo analysts and several eagle-eyed Twitter users, Trump was not glaring down Putin with steely resolve during last week’s summit but instead helpfully pointing out a large blotch of borscht that had dribbled onto the Russian leader’s lapel during lunch.

“The angle makes it look like President Trump is poking his finger at Putin’s chest in defiance,” said one photographer familiar with the session. But if you zoom in, he’s clearly just saying, “Hey buddy, you got soup on ya.’”

When asked why the official White House release was in black and white, spokesperson Karoline Leavitt dismissed the suggestion that the choice was intended to conceal the telltale crimson hue of beet soup. “The President simply believes America looks stronger in grayscale,” she said. “It’s about aesthetics, not appetizers.”

Meanwhile, in Moscow, Putin was spotted carrying his soiled suit to the Kremlin’s in-house dry cleaner. According to Kremlin insiders, the Russian leader is “a notorious borscht enthusiast” who has long refused to wear bibs despite repeated encouragement from staff.

The incident has fueled mockery online, with critics dubbing the photo “the Soup-er Summit” and one late-night host suggesting Trump should be awarded “the Order of the Napkin” for his services to international laundry diplomacy.

Still, Trump remained undeterred by the revelation. “Nobody points out stains better than me,” he boasted in an interview. He said, “Donnie, you saved me from total embarrassment. Big stain, the biggest stain anyone’s ever seen.”

At press time, the Kremlin dry cleaner had confirmed the beet blotch was “stubborn but manageable” and that the suit would be ready by Monday.