09:30 PM PST (September 24, 2025) - N.S. EIC

In a city where monuments are meant to endure, one 12-foot statue lasted less than 24 hours. Erected on the National Mall under a legally approved permit, the foam-and-resin sculpture of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, hand in hand, mid-skip, grinning like prom dates, was removed in the dead of night by U.S. Park Police. The group behind the statue, The Secret Handshake, called it “a celebration of Friendship Month.” The government called it “noncompliant.” America called it “what the hell is that?”

The Art of the Uncomfortable Hug

The statue, titled Best Friends Forever, featured three plaques. Two quoted excerpts from a bawdy birthday letter Trump allegedly wrote Epstein, including a hand-drawn silhouette of a naked woman. The third plaque read:

“We celebrate the long-lasting bond between President Donald J. Trump and his ‘closest friend,’ Jeffrey Epstein.”

The Trump administration swiftly denounced the display, calling it “liberal waste” and accusing Democrats of ignoring Epstein’s victims while Trump “called for transparency” and “delivered thousands of pages of documents” [1][2][5].

Permit? What Permit?

Despite having a valid permit through Sunday, organizers say they were given no warning before the statue was physically toppled at 5:30 a.m. Wednesday. “We were told we’d get 24 hours notice,” said a spokesperson for The Secret Handshake. “Instead, they showed up in the dark, broke it, and hauled it off like a stolen mattress” [2][5][6].

The Department of the Interior cited “noncompliance” but declined to specify what rule was broken. The group suspects political interference. “This is censorship dressed as park maintenance,” they said. “They’re scared of what Trump’s hiding in the Epstein files.”

The Friendship That Haunts

Trump and Epstein’s relationship has long been a source of speculation. They were photographed together at parties in the ’90s, and Trump once called Epstein a “terrific guy” [3][7]. After Epstein’s arrest, Trump claimed he hadn’t spoken to him in 15 years and had kicked him out of Mar-a-Lago for being “a creep.” Yet recordings and documents continue to surface, painting a murkier picture.

The statue’s removal coincides with renewed calls for full disclosure of Epstein’s files, which the DOJ insists contain no “client list.” Trump, meanwhile, has lashed out at critics, calling the scandal “the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax” and accusing his own supporters of falling for “bullshit (a supposed Christian [bullshit])” [2][3].

Conclusion: Love in the Time of Permits

The statue may be gone, but its message lingers: satire is still dangerous, especially when it’s accurate. In a city of bronze generals and marble ideals, a foam-and-resin handshake proved too provocative to last.

And somewhere, in a government warehouse, two smiling figures lie broken—still holding hands.